Sasha's Demons by T.L Smith

Author:T.L Smith [Smith, T.L]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2014-09-15T16:00:00+00:00

Sasha

I know, I just know those words are for me. I know I hurt him, but I purposely didn’t mean to, I just thought he’d be better loving someone who wasn’t so broken. I don’t know what to do. I’ve thought of nothing but him in these last two weeks. He’s plagued every thought in my mind.

Brandon gazes over at me and gives my hand a squeeze and pulls me up with him. We head backstage to go and see the boys after their show. I walk slowly and let Brandon set the pace. Once we reach where they are, I look up and see him staring at me. He walks over and glares straight at my face with an unsure look on his.

“Why did you come? Did you come to torture me?” he asks breathing heavily. He is so close I can smell him.

“I’m sorry, I came to talk, but I see I’m not wanted. Goodbye.” I walk off and I hear Brandon cursing at Brax.

“You fool! Pull your head out of your ass. Why else would she come to see you?” I hear Brandon yell and then he chases me down. We make it outside before I let the first tear fall down my cheek. I ask Brandon to drop me off at the cemetery. He looks at me funny because it’s pouring down rain and, of course, it’s night time. I tell him if he doesn’t take me, I’ll walk there myself. He reluctantly agrees and drops me off. He offers to wait, but I tell him I need to be alone.

I sit down in front of his headstone and cry.

I cry for the love I lost.

I cry for hurting Brax.

The rain is getting heavier and heavier and I welcome it, like it’s the air I breathe. It's rejuvenating, it washes away my tears and my pain. I tend to come here quite a lot, at least once a week now. He still draws me to him even in death.

I stay for at least half an hour and decide it’s time to head home. I stand up and turn around to see Brax is standing in the rain behind me. I take a step back and nearly fall over Josh’s headstone.

“Are you okay,” he asks, putting his hand out to steady me. I knock his hand away and walk past him.

“I’m sorry, Sash. You hurt me. I didn’t know how else to deal with it.”

I don’t know what he’s referring to – The song? Or the way he spoke to me? I ignore him and continue to walk. I can hear his footsteps following behind me. He grabs my arm and spins me around.

“I fucking love you... I’m fucking head over pig shit in love with you, woman, and all you do is push me the fuck away.”

Those words slam straight into my chest. It feels like I just got hit. I think I’m in love with him too, but I’m not going to tell him that. I look up at him and see hope written all over his face.

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